2007 MLB homerun derby
July 10th, 2007 by Ross Grant (filed in Baseball, Not a Sport)
None of today’s homerun derby contestants could knock one into McCovey Cove? Maybe at next year’s derby the league should make corked bats and ephedra mandatory! The MLB homerun derby has naturally evolved into a non-event and has gone the way of the NBA’s slam dunk competition. It started out cool, but has now become a mind-numbingly boring waste of time. It should be replaced with some other type of non-sport. How about a hot-dog eating, poker playing, ucf style fighting, beer-swilling extravaganza? The Non-Sports Decathlon starts off as a friendly game of poker, but can break out into a street fight at any moment. And all the while the contestants are chugging beer to gain extra points. Then down the most ball-park style hot-dogs without blowing choad and you gain even more bonus points (and cred with your homeys). The winner of the non-sport decathlon will not only win the coveted Pewter Medal (precision crafted by the Franklin Mint), but will also have their choice of a complementary gastric bypass, a free month at the Betty Ford Clinic or free trailer park rent paid for life. Get rid of pitchers hiding behind nets and bring on the pitchers of beer. Let the non-sports games begin!
