Media Free Sports

America’s Game

Ross Grant — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:56:08 +0000

“I make my living off the evening news. Just give me something-something I can use. People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry!”, once sung by an American artist before he sold out to Walmart. Interesting that the Major League Baseball steroids non-issue, a decade too late, is coming to a head during an election year. Imagine that. Hey Republican stiffs, we love home runs, we don’t want snakes and sparklers! We want whistling bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, Hüsker Düs and don’ts! Cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick … and at least one Whistling Kitty-Chaser!! Hey, we all loved the home-runs in the 90s. Especially the owners that whisked the cash out of our working class pockets like a slick carney hustler. Now they want to sucker us in twice by making us believe that, ten years later, they give a shit about the integrity of America’s game. Well they don’t, they just want to get re-elected.

David Wells on the pussification of baseball

Ross Grant — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:50:20 +0000

Padres pitcher David Wells was suspended seven games for his outburst in last Saturday’s match-up against the Braves. He was matter-a-factly ejected for arguing balls and strikes. Apparently Wells did not see eye to eye with umpire Ed Hickox. He subsequently fired a ball at the backstop and had to be restrained by teammates and coaches. When questioned about the suspension handed down Wells stated, “Pretty soon we’re all going to put skirts on … we’re all going to play softball”. He went on to say, “They’re going to make us throw underhand … if you throw overhand, you’ll get a 20-game suspension.” Some of the most colorful baseball quotes this year! Although sexist in nature, I can see Boomer’s point. When political correctness gets out of hand in sports, we need a ”man show” man like Wells to balance things out. And besides, it really is getting to the point where “you can’t do anything”. The NHL lets their players slug it out with each other, right there on the ice. Heck, in baseball a manager can’t even have a little sand-kicking fun with an umpire. But really, every dark cloud has a silver lining. Sure it’s seven days, but actually that’s only one start. And fortunately, it’ll give Boomer 4 days to detox from his forthcoming 3-day bender.

2007 MLB homerun derby

Ross Grant — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 22:39:32 +0000

None of today’s homerun derby contestants could knock one into McCovey Cove? Maybe at next year’s derby the league should make corked bats and ephedra mandatory! The MLB homerun derby has naturally evolved into a non-event and has gone the way of the NBA’s slam dunk competition. It started out cool, but has now become a mind-numbingly boring waste of time. It should be replaced with some other type of non-sport. How about a hot-dog eating, poker playing, ucf style fighting, beer-swilling extravaganza? The Non-Sports Decathlon starts off as a friendly game of poker, but can break out into a street fight at any moment. And all the while the contestants are chugging beer to gain extra points. Then down the most ball-park style hot-dogs without blowing choad and you gain even more bonus points (and cred with your homeys). The winner of the non-sport decathlon will not only win the coveted Pewter Medal (precision crafted by the Franklin Mint), but will also have their choice of a complementary gastric bypass, a free month at the Betty Ford Clinic or free trailer park rent paid for life. Get rid of pitchers hiding behind nets and bring on the pitchers of beer. Let the non-sports games begin!

Barry Bonds is an Allstar - the People have spoken

Ross Grant — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 02:38:16 +0000

Baseball is America’s game. Our country is about the voice of the people. What could be more fitting on this Independence Day 2007? As in the past as now, back in the days of an even more unpopular war, we didn’t listen to ”the man”. And again this time we didn’t listen to the media, Congress or the MLB brass. Mr. Selig (commissioner of MLB), regarding the former, you’ll have to find another scapegoat in your league’s quest for absolution (from the so-called steroids era). No longer will you have to waste league’s money on your own self-indulgent pursuits. America has spoken. Maybe you underestimated the intelligence of sports fans across the country. It turns out Barry Bonds is not the bad guy after all!

Baseball has moved on. The fans have moved on. McGuire has long since retired, Sosa is off the juice and batting fine. The McGuire/Sosa homerun battle is over. Face it, roids can’t turn Coke into Pepsi or perform any other miracles for that matter. Barry Bonds is still standing strong and swinging a mean bat to boot.

NBA Draft Grades 1-10

Ross Grant — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:15:08 +0000

Two stick figures in the top 10? Yi got to be kidding me! Did I just get jettisoned back in time 10 or 15 years? What are the Bucks and Kings thinking? Hey folks, the cowbell era is long gone. Milwaukee and Sacramento - F. No I changed my mind, F minus! But there’s a reason why these same teams consistently waste high round picks on bad choices. Bad teams pick high in the draft. And why is that? Because they’re bad teams (light bulb turns on). Bad records, bad management, bad trades, bad draft picks, bad organizations … the list goes on. The circular logic really makes sense here. Mamma says, “stupid is as stupid does”.

But on this night, Celtic’s Danny Ainge and his band of cretins really took the cake. I guess their thinking was that the twin towers theory never worked, so how about the “twin ball hogs” theory. Duh Danny, that’s why the Sonics unloaded Ray Allen. Not enough balls for him and Durant. And you think Pierce and Allen, the two-headed ball hog, will be a raging success in Beantown? Hopefully next year, Ainge will move into a career he can handle. Washing dishes at Larry Bird’s restaurant!

Who picked Georgetown’s Green before NCAA championship MVP Corey Brewer. Grade C (it would be a D if it weren’t a Hoya). No C minus. No, grade D, I was originally correct. But they got the best of Beantown and Durant fell into their laps, A+.

So without further ado, here are the grades 1-10:

1) Portland - Greg Oden - A
2) Seattle - Kevin Durant - A+ (the plus is for hustling the Celtics)
3) Atlanta - Al Horford and AC Law - A+
4) Memphis - Mike Conely Jr - A minus
5) Boston - F minus
6) Milwaukee - Jianlian Yi - F minus (no soup for you!)
7) Minnesota - Corey Brewer A+ (Can be changed to an A+ if they unload KG)
*Update: just upgraded to an A+ for taking my 2007 NBA steal of the draft, Cliff Chris Richard at #41.
8) Charlotte - Brandon Wright B
9) Chicago - Joakim Noah A (Perfect fit for Skiles and the Bulls)
10) Sacramento - Spencer Hawes F minus (Hey kids, just stay in school)

The grinch that stole the NBA Draft

Ross Grant — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 05:49:27 +0000

Wasn’t it bad enough that dictator, I mean commissioner, David Stern stole the NBA championship from the Phoenix Suns? Now the the Portland Trailblazers and mega-media giant ESPN have to ruin NBA draft day for us too? Do you not believe in “opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve”? Of course, we all kind of all knew that Portland was going to take Oden. But what a buzz kill. It’s a done deal. Oden’s going first. Why tune in tonight? The network that brought you the draft also stole it’s magic. Well I guess there’s always preseason football. And it can’t begin soon enough! Unless of course someone at ESPN the magazine already knows the outcome of the games.

Clemens bottom of the barrel on 40-plus night

Ross Grant — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 04:00:29 +0000

In case you don’t already know, Mars, Venus and Jupiter aligned tonight. The MLB rotations featured seven pitchers, 40-years-old or beyond, starting for their prospective teams today. Even after previewing this 40-plus extravaganza earlier this afternoon, I would have never figured the outcome. Three of the group took no decisions, including one rainout. Three of these long-lived warriors won outright. All of them Atlanta Braves at one time or the other; Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz. Wow! This is “vintage pitching” at its best. All of our yesteryear America’s Team heros notched another victory for their ball clubs. Only one Loser in the group. Well not really a loser. If you prorate the dollar per inning pitched, he earned more than all three Braves combined. But lets get back to the diamond. NY Yankee Roger Clemens lost to the Orioles and, on this night, distinguished himself from his contemporaries.

MLB 40-plus night at your ballpark tonight

Ross Grant — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 22:31:43 +0000

So what’s the giveaway at the ball park tonight on this “geriatric wednesday”? A viagra, propecia, horny goat weed sample pack? I already knew that 40 plussers Kenny Rogers and Roger Clemens were pitching today. I had this great article all planned out, “Roger vs Rogers” . But in baseball, “sometimes you win, sometimes you lose … and sometimes it rains”. Well this time it rained. Detroit Tiger’s Kenny Rogers scheduled start this afternoon was scratched when the game was postponed due to rain. But low and behold there are seven, yes boys and girls, seven over-forty pitchers starting tonight! So why not take a look at all these guys numbers vs Roger Clemens and his gargantuan salary.

But before we get to that, why pass up the chance to take a shot at Curt Schilling? When I first learned of today’s “geriatric wednesday”, I imagined Schilling was in the mix. But then again maybe he’s not quite 40. And besides, he’s on the DL with a “bruised ego”, an injury that doesn’t show up on any MRI.

Here folks are the numbers for the today’s “Plus 40 Night” starters:

1) Woody Williams (Brewers) 93 ip - 5.69 era - 6 mill
2) Greg Maddux (Padres) 98 ip - 3.66 era - 10 mill
3) John Smoltz (Braves) 94 ip - 3.14 era - 8 mill
4) Roger Clemens (Yanks) 17 ip - 5.09 era - 26 mill (Holy Cow!)
5) Kenny Rogers (Tigers) 6 ip - 0.00 era - 8 mill *
6) Tom Glavine (Mets) 96 ip - 4.38 era - 7.5 mill
7) Jamie Moyer (Phillies) 96 ip - 4.13 era - 6.5 mill

Wow, I thought Moyer and Williams where sipping Pina Coladas in Bermuda. But not half-bad numbers. Look at Smoltzee, making 1/3 Clemen’s salary for relatively a million times the production. But don’t look too close at these numbers. New York got their high-maintenance princess, I mean pitcher. All in all that’s what they really wanted. Someone to sell tickets and give the illusion that they are contenders.

*Only one start this year, but recorded several popular country albums in the 70s and 80s.

This just in, at least one of these guys has something left in the tank. Greg Maddux just won his start, number 340. That puts him number 3 all-time for MLB pitchers!

Tank Johnson found guilty by the Bears

Ross Grant — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:27:55 +0000

The legal system is still waiting for Tank Johnson’s blood test to come back before taking any actions. However, the Chicago Bears have already reached their verdict, Guilty! The organization obviously cut Tank Johnson over a breach of trust. I’m sure he had made a commitment with the club to stay on the “straight and narrow”. But only one day out of the Windy City, Johnson wrapped up his evening in an Arizona jailhouse. Can you blame the team for releasing him? Not really. However, the timing is more than a little suspect.

It seems lately that the NFL and its teams are jumping to conclusions and becoming a little trigger happy. Unlike the principles of our legal system, the league considers a person guilty until proven innocent. We all know there was a player recently suspended for an entire year. This occurred months before any criminal charges were ever filed against the player. And depending on the outcome, it may have been the right thing to do. However, the point is, no one knows the outcome yet. Maybe the NFL has a high tech “pre-crime” lab, complete with precog psychic computer uplinks and a small army of pre-crime officers. You have to wonder how far the league is going to take their “minority report” type justice. If this were the standard a few years back, who knows if Ray Lewis would have ever gotten a fair trial. I guess back in those days the NFL didn’t have an image problem. They really had no interest in throwing jurisprudence out the door so they could play judge and jury.

If it turns out Tank was guilty of DUI, sure release the guy. But at this point, no laws have been broken. There was no announced team curfew last Thursday evening. The Bears action had to be premature. Heck, even NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and his pre-crime unit hadn’t swooped in yet! Maybe the Bears simply wanted to beat the league to the punch.

Mutombo honored with humanitarian award

Ross Grant — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 03:06:26 +0000

Earlier this week, former Georgetown standout and NBA Allstar Dikembe Mutombo was inducted into the World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame. Throughout his career, the defensive specialist gave opposing teams fits. Don’t get me wrong, when inspired Dikembe could score with the best. More importantly, Mutombo put his superstar mega-dollars to good use back at home in his community, albeit oceans away. On the podium Wednesday, he explained, “The most important thing in our lives is our relationship to humanity. We need to be an example for our children and our grandchildren.” How often we forget this in our day to day lives.