Media Free Sports

The legal system is still waiting for Tank Johnson’s blood test to come back before taking any actions. However, the Chicago Bears have already reached their verdict, Guilty! The organization obviously cut Tank Johnson over a breach of trust. I’m sure he had made a commitment with the club to stay on the “straight and narrow”. But only one day out of the Windy City, Johnson wrapped up his evening in an Arizona jailhouse. Can you blame the team for releasing him? Not really. However, the timing is more than a little suspect.

It seems lately that the NFL and its teams are jumping to conclusions and becoming a little trigger happy. Unlike the principles of our legal system, the league considers a person guilty until proven innocent. We all know there was a player recently suspended for an entire year. This occurred months before any criminal charges were ever filed against the player. And depending on the outcome, it may have been the right thing to do. However, the point is, no one knows the outcome yet. Maybe the NFL has a high tech “pre-crime” lab, complete with precog psychic computer uplinks and a small army of pre-crime officers.  You have to wonder how far the league is going to take their “minority report” type justice. If this were the standard a few years back, who knows if Ray Lewis would have ever gotten a fair trial. I guess back in those days the NFL didn’t have an image problem. They really had no interest in throwing jurisprudence out the door so they could play judge and jury.

If it turns out Tank was guilty of DUI, sure release the guy. But at this point, no laws have been broken. There was no announced team curfew last Thursday evening. The Bears action had to be premature. Heck, even NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and his pre-crime unit hadn’t swooped in yet! Maybe the Bears simply wanted to beat the league to the punch.

Tank Johnson can’t stay seem to stay away from the police. He was picked up again early yesterday morning in his home state of Arizona for “DUI impaired to the slightest degree”. What exactly does that mean? I guess legal intoxication lies somewhere between the “slightest degree” and “Mel Gibson drunk”.  The early indications are that Johnson couldn’t have been that Tanked. No anti-semitic remarks were spewed and apparently no vomit was witnessed at the scene. However, just being on the road, at the wheel no mind you, at 3:30 AM (Pacific time none-the-less) in the morning displays a serious lack of judgement. So maybe alcohol was the culprit here.

The NFL is busy trying to change it’s image, the players just don’t seem to be cooperating. Roger Goodell is throwing down suspensions like Mardi Gras beads. Coaches are cracking down and pleading with their squads to “stay in line”. But gentleman, let me simply tell you this, “You can’t fix Stupid!”. To shamelessly quote comedian Ron White, “There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.” Now if I had Tank’s dollars and was pulled over at 3AM in the morning, the conversation with the police would go something like this. “Yes officer, Mr. Grant is in back of the limo with two strippers and his attorney. He may or may not be impaired to the slightest degree. Would you like to speak with his attorney?”

A couple months after his announced departure from Monday Night Football, it sounds like former Skins QB Joe Theisman is more than a little bit angry. In a recent tirade, Jealous Joe called out his booth mate and ESPN BMOC Tony Kornheiser as being “neurotic” and accused the network of detracting from the game. Hey Joey, what’s with the sour grapes? Now you know how we feel! All the years of your annoying commentary has really been grating thin on my nerves. Do you want some cheese to go with that whine Joe? Don’t get me wrong, I was a big Theisman fan in the day, back at Notre Dame and with the Skins. It just goes to show that some athletes should be seen and not heard. The media has made it far too easy for these marginal personalities to detract from the game itself. If you’re not a Bret Farve, or Vince Young, I don’t want to hear your inane ramblings (Curt Shilling comes to mind).  Long before becoming a Theisman fan, I cheered for Jaworski, albeit I was just a kid (is Dick Vermeil immortal). But unlike Joe, Ron offers some real insight into the game, without sounding like a whiney little self-righteous aging jock. 

Michael Lewis, the undrafted former beer truck driver, was just released by the New Orleans Saints. The kickoff and punt return specialist electrified Saint’s fans with his amazing speed and agility, setting NFL records for return yardage back in 2002. However, this is the NFL, and it comes down to “what have you done for me lately”. Whether the cut was due to a nagging knee injury or simply not enough room on the roster, it may mark the end of a Cinderella type pro football career.

But we just can’t get enough of this type of story, and it’s not ready to end. If Mr. Lewis has anything left in the tank, this would be a much better scenario. And it’s a perfect fit… in the town that made the frosty malted beverage famous. While the Packers only play a few home games in Milwaukee, they didn’t draft that much help for future Hall of Famer Bret Farve. Sign veteran Lewis for the league minimum and offer some fair incentives, and take the chance that he may add a little voltage to an anemic offense. There are many fans in beer country and beyond that would like to see the Bret Farve and the Pack will make a little noise in the NFL North division.

Sometimes all it takes is a new team, a new season, a new year … or all of the above. Last fall Philly fans were booing former Pro-Bowler backup Jeff Garcia and chanting for former backup and failed Dolphin  starter AJ Feely. Philly fans have always had a reputation for rudeness, but that fell more under the category of sheer stupidity (well the two often go hand in hand). Be careful what you wish for Philly fans, you just may get it. Oh you did get it! When McNabb gets injured this year or needs a play or two off to vomit, you’ll get your boy Feely!

Meanwhile back in Tampa, Coach Gruden has generally indicated that Garcia is the man,  ”Right now, Jeff Garcia is clearly the leader in the clubhouse. We have a veteran quarterback now that we think can upgrade us in an area we need to improve”. When statments like this come out very early in training camp, you would usually take it with a grain of salt. Chucky is merely trying to motivate Simms and Gradkowski to challenge Jeff for the starting spot. But take a look at where Gruden was most successful (besides winning a Superbowl with Tony Dungee’s Team), in Oakland , with veteran QB Rich Gannon playing in the West Coast offense. Maybe Gruden’s comments should be taken at face value, this is football, not poker. It will make little difference that he put all his cards on the table early. Remember, Gruden was only a ”tuck rule” away from a Superbowl Championship with very much this same formulae. If defensive coordinator Monty Kiffin can get the D anywhere close to where it was just a few years ago, watch out NFC, Chucky and the Bucs may be steam-rolling through your town this fall!