Media Free Sports

Two stick figures in the top 10? Yi got to be kidding me! Did I just get jettisoned back in time 10 or 15 years? What are the Bucks and Kings thinking? Hey folks, the cowbell era is long gone. Milwaukee and Sacramento - F. No I changed my mind, F minus! But there’s a reason why these same teams consistently waste high round picks on bad choices. Bad teams pick high in the draft. And why is that? Because they’re bad teams (light bulb turns on). Bad records, bad management, bad trades, bad draft picks, bad organizations … the list goes on. The circular logic really makes sense here. Mamma says, “stupid is as stupid does”.

But on this night, Celtic’s Danny Ainge and his band of cretins really took the cake. I guess their thinking was that the twin towers theory never worked, so how about the “twin ball hogs” theory. Duh Danny, that’s why the Sonics unloaded Ray Allen. Not enough balls for him and Durant. And you think Pierce and Allen, the two-headed ball hog, will be a raging success in Beantown? Hopefully next year, Ainge will move into a career he can handle. Washing dishes at Larry Bird’s restaurant!

Who picked Georgetown’s Green before NCAA championship MVP Corey Brewer. Grade C (it would be a D if it weren’t a Hoya). No C minus. No, grade D, I was originally correct. But they got the best of Beantown and Durant fell into their laps, A+.

So without further ado, here are the grades 1-10:

1) Portland - Greg Oden - A
2) Seattle - Kevin Durant - A+ (the plus is for hustling the Celtics)
3) Atlanta - Al Horford and AC Law - A+
4) Memphis - Mike Conely Jr - A minus
5) Boston - F minus
6) Milwaukee - Jianlian Yi - F minus (no soup for you!)
7) Minnesota - Corey Brewer A+ (Can be changed to an A+ if they unload KG)
*Update: just upgraded to an A+ for taking my 2007 NBA steal of the draft, Cliff Chris Richard at #41. 
8) Charlotte - Brandon Wright B
9) Chicago - Joakim Noah A (Perfect fit for Skiles and the Bulls) 
10) Sacramento - Spencer Hawes F minus (Hey kids, just stay in school)

Wasn’t it bad enough that dictator, I mean commissioner, David Stern stole the NBA championship from the Phoenix Suns? Now the the Portland Trailblazers and mega-media giant ESPN have to ruin NBA draft day for us too? Do you not believe in “opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve”? Of course, we all kind of all knew that Portland was going to take Oden. But what a buzz kill. It’s a done deal. Oden’s going first. Why tune in tonight? The network that brought you the draft also stole it’s magic. Well I guess there’s always preseason football. And it can’t begin soon enough! Unless of course someone at ESPN the magazine already knows the outcome of the games.

Earlier this week, former Georgetown standout and NBA Allstar Dikembe Mutombo was inducted into the World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame. Throughout his career, the defensive specialist gave opposing teams fits. Don’t get me wrong, when inspired Dikembe could score with the best. More importantly, Mutombo put his superstar mega-dollars to good use back at home in his community, albeit oceans away. On the podium Wednesday, he explained, “The most important thing in our lives is our relationship to humanity. We need to be an example for our children and our grandchildren.” How often we forget this in our day to day lives.

So Kobe wants to be traded. My only question, “Where the heck are you going to go hot shot?” LA is the only place on planet NBA that could fit your massive ego. Cali is a haven for the rich and spoiled and you’re right at home. How about the tradition-rich Boston Celtics? Even the best spin in the world couldn’t land you in bean town. To us east of the San Andreas fault, you’re nothing more than the self-centered ego-maniac that chased off Shaq. Oh, and who once in a while scores alot of points per game while your team flounders. Truthful or not, that’s your image. And this latest fiasco showcasing your petty childness has not gone anywhere near changing that. So that leaves Reggie and Nellie to the North. Neither system or salary cap would fit you. Hmmm Kobe, you’ve never heard the old adage, “Be careful of what you wish for, you just may get it.” You’re the man in LA and now you’re whining for help and holding your breath until you get traded? Bad move, the world isn’t LA, and you’re not Shaquille O’Neal. Better grow up and kiss and make up with Kupchak.

So you’re looking for a big man? Can Yi Jianlian play in the league? How about Spencer Hawes? Is he NBA material? Or a stick figure in wolf’s clothing? Look no further than the 2007 NCAA champion Florida Gators. Long after heralded big men Al Horford and Joakim Noah show up at the podium, the unsung gator power forward will be stolen in the second or third round. He was good enough to keep freshman Marreese Speights on the bench (that will mean much more in the years to come). Probably a better player than the Gator that was drafted by the Miami Heat a few years ago. He would of started for any other 2A team in the country. There probably aren’t statistics kept for “perfect games” in hoops. But in this years championship tourney stretch against power conferences, the Big 10 (Purdue) and Pac10 (UCLA), he didn’t miss a shot from the field or from the stripe, while playing significant minutes and dominating on the boards. I’m not going to tell you who this big man is, you’ll have to figure that out for yourself.